Firstly, admitting to the truth that you are stuck in a moment of time struggling is hard. I get you — I've been there. Burying my head in the sand because facing the truth of what is happening feels too hard to face.
Feeling stuck in your job? Failing in your job? Losing control of what is important? Emotions too strong to hold yourself together? Erratic responses from the whirlwind of thoughts going round in your head? Losing the connection you once had with your partner? Drifting away from your friends and family because they are the ones that will see the truth? Binging or starving yourself because it's the only thing you feel you can control?
All of these things that happen when you bury your head in the sand CAN change. I promise you this — but you have to want the change, you have to want to be happier, you have to want to be a better person for yourself and those around you.
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE.
You have to believe you can grow for you to grow. You have to challenge yourself by asking:
- Why am I worthy of this love?
- Why am I worthy of that promotion?
- Why am I worthy of that client?
- Why should that person trust me?
- Why should that person open up to me?
- Why should that person invest their time in me?
These are all things that you have to question and work through when growing — and you have to question these things to be exposed to growth. Do you self-reflect and question yourself?
Your childhood will affect your ability to self-reflect and can dictate a large proportion of how you express your identity. Values (e.g. respect, connection, growth). Boundaries. Secrets. Roles within (hierarchy). Identification (e.g. 'You are just like your father'). All of these factors will imprint on the belief you have in yourself. They will control the worth, trust and power within you.
If you are able to peel back the layers — understanding the actions of your role model, knowing that their actions and words do not define you — allowing you freedom to act with your own beliefs and values at the forefront, you will have an easier time manifesting your dreams.
A reality check: manifesting your dreams will only work if something changes. The majority of our lives are never changing — routines, schedules, connections, commitments. If these are never questioned, how can the things going wrong for you be recognised? The lack of questioning is what makes you feel stuck — stuck in a cycle of negative feelings, all based around recurring situations. If you want to manifest a greater life, you have to act in accordance with your thinking.
Noticing your repeated thought patterns
Have you ever noticed your repeated thought patterns? What does this thought show you? What belief is this thought giving you? Is it doubt? Negative self-talk? Body shaming?
If you find that these thoughts are overwhelming, here are some tips:
- Tell a friend, therapist, coach, or guide that you feel secure to confide in
- Journal that belief — once it is written down, question: is it true? Do this daily, writing an affirmation to yourself after the belief (e.g. 'I am damaged, no one will want me' becomes 'I am worth compassion and kindness, to love myself')
- Dedicate a period of time in your day to be with the thought. Practise deep breathing, focus on the breath to slow down the racing mind. Then gradually, when you are ready, allow the belief in — don't push against the door. Let the breath and thought in and out as it pleases. As you do this over time you will have allowed your mind to process this thought, giving it less power and your mind and body more power to redirect the belief
6 rituals for life
- People only know what you tell them
- Don't take advice from people who don't inspire you
- Give people time to show you who they are
- Be smart to create your own opportunities
- Freedom comes from courage to embrace change
- Conflict will be consistent — choose to see the beauty in life during the sun and rain
If the cycle isn't broken and we stop reminding ourselves of the rituals of life, it most likely means you will be making yourself smaller — which will only harm yourself and the people around you.
As we grow through our young years, teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond, we are constantly evolving into a new version of ourselves. You are guaranteed to have bad days — but this also means you are guaranteed good days. How you respond to your connections on your bad days matters as much as your good days.
If bad days are constantly occurring, you are more likely holding onto the past version of yourself — preventing you from growing into your newly evolved self. This could be because you are scared of letting go of the old, the comfort, the known, the love you once felt. But the pain you will feel from holding on to what isn't for you will be greater than any pain you will face in the life you are supposed to be living.
I can promise you — you will not be alone in feeling this pain. Allow yourself to let go. Allow yourself to believe in yourself and flourish.